Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Why I Wear A Bow Tie

Original post: October 31, 2014

Ready to perform a marriage ceremony 

The Supreme Court recently declined to hear protests against the overturning of several same-sex marriage bans, instantly legalizing same-sex marriage in enough places that over half the US population could be guests at a same-sex marriage in their home states.  Well, Miss Janet was into marrying those couples long before it was popular everywhere.

I started at the Marriage Factory at her behest the day same-sex marriage was legalized in California - in 2008.  My first wedding joined a pair of women.  Proposition 8 was heavy blow to me.  I took it very personally, despite being in no way personally affected.  The wait for that same court's Prop 8 & DOMA rulings last year was long.

While waiting for all that hash to get settled, Jesse Tyler Ferguson of Modern Family started a website called Tie the Knot ( that offers stylish bow ties through The Tie Bar (, with most of the proceeds going to marriage equality organizations.

I dress rather formally when I go to the Marriage Factory.  If I dressed the way I do to go to work, couples would be getting married by a guy in a polo shirt & jeans - hardly "most important day"-worthy.  My wife thought I'd look good sporting one of the aforementioned bow ties, and bought one for me last year, before the court's decision.  I wore it the first day I married same-sex couples, and for weeks after.  After a while, I surrendered to routine and stopped wearing the tie.  It's hard to tie one well, and not every shirt looks good with a bow tie.

Earlier this month, she bought me the George Takei tie. George is not only Lieutenant Sulu, he is a gay rights icon.  I think it looks more like Eddie Van Halen's guitar from the "Jump" video than anything to do with Star Trek, but I wear it with pride.  Pride in a job well done.

Standing by for the next couple to marry

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